Who said play-dates were fun?

Hey Friend,

You’re not gonna believe the day I’ve had! I should now be stuffing my face with chocolate whilst watching some nonsense on the tv to forget but it’s the summer holidays so the girls are still up – and, more importantly – I don’t actually have any chocolate!!! Yes, this is a truly crappy end to my day.

So, a couple of days ago Mr E came home with the girls – all proud of himself because he’d organised a play date for the girls with our neighbour and her daughter. He didn’t actually check if I’d made plans first and when I pointed this out he said “I thought it’d give you a break as she (the mum) is going to come over for an hour and then take them all to the park.” Hmmmm.

Fast forward to this morning – she breezes in with both her children – yes, both when I was only expecting one – and says “thanks for having them. I’m off to get my hair done and will be back in a couple of hours.” Excuse me? This was not part of the plan! But off she went and I stood there hoping the girls were up to the challenge of entertaining our guests. This was at 11am by the way. Older Miss pointed out that we were going to have lunch soon – cue panicked look on my face as I wasn’t prepped to do lunch for 6 (well, 5.5 as Bubs is still weeny)! The mum said “they’ve just had breakfast so they’ll be fine” – phew! Doesn’t mean I didn’t feel bad though when we sat down to eat and the guests were just waiting for the girls to finish….(I know, I’m awful but in my defense I did offer but they declined and I wasn’t going to wait until thy left to eat as – well, I’m coming to that)!

Pretty much as soon as the front door closed the youngest one started saying he wanted to go home – then he turned it into a song – a song that had no other words – just ‘I want to go hoooommme’ on repeat (thank God I don’t drink because I would surely have been reaching for the wine after 5 minutes of that).

The girls were great hostesses – they got the board games out, built a den, demolished said den, got the craft stuff out and built some weird and wonderful things and then finally sat down to a movie. I made them all some popcorn which was inhaled within a couple of minutes. Does this sound like a lot of things in a short space of time? Does it sound like 2 hours worth of activities? No? Then you’d be right. Frankly as soon as I heard the words ‘I’m going to get my hair done’ I knew it was highly unlikely that the children were going to make it to the park today.

I sent a message – keeping it friendly, of course – ‘when are you due back? (smiley face)’. The reply was ‘will be back around 4pm’ – 4pm?? She must be thinking this is the best free babysitting service ever! All the while, I’m firing off angry texts to Mr E for organising this debacle of a day – which, to be fair, isn’t his fault – how was he to know what he agreed to wasn’t actually going to happen? But I wasn’t thinking rationally at the time and growled and snarled as I sent a couple more texts… Hopefully I’ll get some chocolate from all the guilt I’ve piled on… 🙂

The mum turned up at 4.15pm, hair looking fabulous, of course and gushing at how grateful she was to me for having them (now I feel bad… okay, not really). She’s agreed to have the girls next week. I’m tempted to drop off all three children and book myself into a spa for the day!

Speak soon x

Breakfast treat – two words that do not go together…


So, you’re not gonna believe this but it’s half term again (I know, right?).

Weeks ago, Little Miss and I found this recipe for ‘morning muffins’ – really healthy ‘cakes’ (I use the word loosely) made with oats and Greek yogurt amongst other things. As a treat I thought I’d make them one day this week seeing as it’s half term and we’re not rushing off to do the school run. Well, that’s where it all went wrong – right at the start.

I was up with Bubs early as usual – gave him breakfast and started grating apples (you see what I mean now when I said ‘cake’…). It was only after I’d grated said apples that I realised I didn’t have any oats. Determined not to be beaten I searched the net for a recipe for ‘normal’ muffins only to realise I didn’t have any butter (can you sense the eye rolls?)… I wasn’t giving up. With the grated apples slowly turning brown I tried one more search and found a recipe with oil as a substitute. Now, I know my girls – anything remotely different to the norm is met with a whiny “I don’t like it” without anything even passing their lips. So I knew this whole batch of muffins would be a failure when Older Miss walked in just as I was pouring coconut oil into the mixture (yeah, I’m one of those people who have coconut oil to hand). Her immediate response was “I don’t like coconut” – I just wanted to throw the whole lot away right then – would have been a whole lot easier than the next bit.

I pressed on regardless – the girls even helped to mix – we got them into the oven and they both went on about how good they smelled and how they couldn’t wait to eat them. Quick lesson – what children say and what they do 5-10 minutes later will not always be the same – in fact, they’ll rarely be the same. I, allowed myself to be sucked in to this false sense of security and believed it would all be fine – they would love the delicious smelling muffins, coconut oil and everything.


I made them wait a bit longer so the muffins could cool down (they were on the edge of their seats now – are they ready yet? Can we have one yet?). And then the moment arrived….

Little Miss managed four bites to Older Misses two – surprise of the century – they didn’t like them. So there I was with a whole tray of muffins to eat by myself. So as I shovelled my third muffin into my mouth whilst glaring at my children all I could think about was starting the day again – this time with cereal…

That’s the last time I contemplate a ‘treat’ for breakfast.

Excuse me whilst I roll my portly body across the floor for another muffin (only 5 more to go)….

Speak soon x

Woman down

Hey Friend,

How are you?

So Older Miss came back from her trip and – you’re not gonna believe this, but peace reigned in our home for a full hour! The girls were so pleased to see each other that it was all “No – you have the last sweet” and “No – you read the comic first. I’ll wait.”

I’m sorry? Who are you and what have you done with my daughters?

I don’t know what triggered the first spat but the screeching of each others names told me the blissful ‘I’ve missed you so much’ phase was at an end (eye-rolls galore…).

I am surprisingly well after a bout of sickness at the weekend – in fact, the whole E clan was out for the count. It was a sickness of epic proportions – bodily fluids exploding from both ends (sorry – too much info, I know but you’re only reading about it and not actually living it so toughen up)! Normally, I don’t get that sick – because, you know, Mum’s are super human and all that… But seriously, I couldn’t even pick up Bubs I was that out of it. So, it was over to Mr E to take care of everyone… Hmmm… When my Mum suddenly showed up at the front door I was so pleased to see her, assuming Mr E had called for back-up. No – actually Older Miss sent out a distress signal via text message:

Nanny, please will you come as everyone is sick. Please… (several crying face emojis)

Mr E proceeded to stomp about a bit mumbling that he wasn’t completely incapable of looking after us… Hey – I was not involved!

Thankfully, everyone is back to normal now and I’ve spent a week catching up on the things I didn’t get to do when I was ill – like cleaning the carpet where Little Miss chucked up (whose idea was it to have pizza anyway?). By the way, cleaning up sick when you feel sick is enough to make you… sick.

Oh, and Bubs has also been ill and managed to do a poop that leaked on the carpet – so now there is a orangey patch from the pizza vomit and a smaller yellow patch from the baby poo. The second lot of carpet cleaner I used has done a better job than the first one but I know the faint orange/yellow tinge is there – the untrained eye wouldn’t notice it of course and at least Little Miss isn’t constantly saying her room smells of sick (as if it was someone else that projectile vomited bits of sweetcorn all over the carpet)…

But like I said, all back to normal now – girls bickering over who left that book on the floor (or whatever other thing they feel is of major importance that day); Bubs is back to trying to destroy my home – which consists of pulling everything down off any surface that he can reach and then slobbering all over it – by the way, I read a something a while back that said you shouldn’t worry about babies putting everything in their mouths as they have their own built-in anti-bacterial thingy-ma-jig. Does that mean my dribble covered picture frames that sat on the coffee table are now germ free??

Back to normal also means my ironing pile is out of control – does anyone actually iron any thing anymore? I’d rather sleep.

Speak soon x

To detox, or not to detox…?

Hey there,

So you’re not gonna believe this but I am one child down this week – Older Miss has gone away with school and it feels very weird. I know it’s all part of growing up but we all had a snuggle in bed at the weekend – well, Mr E, Little Miss and I snuggled – Bubs just climbed over us whilst throwing his head back as if determined to headbutt us all at least once. Anyway, I felt sad that she was missing the snuggle however dangerous Bubs had made it…

Shake it up, baby!

I have clearly chosen the wrong week to do a detox – yeah, I know – me! Doing a detox! But in a week when I’m missing my girl and just want to binge on chocolate, it clearly wasn’t one of my better ideas. On the upside, I have been chocolate-free for about a week now – yay me! The downside is I’ll probably go nuts when I’m free of this cleanse and undo all my hard work (insert eye-roll). And I know you said I look great the last time you saw me  (thanks) but seeing as my wonderful children like to refer to my gut as if it’s a person in its own right, I’ll have to say you were just being kind – children don’t lie (unless they’ve eaten that sweet that you told them not to and then they get caught…)!!

Another good thing about this detox is I’m drinking loads of water but (where there’s a pro there’s always a con) I have to wee about 500 times a day! And Bubs is getting quicker moving across the floor so I am literally racing him to get to the bathroom, handle my business and get out before he arrives at the door to greet me. I don’t know what he finds so fascinating about the bathroom anyway – I know for sure that will change when he’s older and has to muck in with cleaning the toilet…

So what with running (actually running) back and forth to the bathroom and not eating very much you’d think I’d have a flat stomach by now, right? Wrong. It’s still there – taunting me – telling me that years of chocolate and cake abuse will not be shifted in a week. But it will be worth it – right? Tell me it will be worth it and I will believe you! I’ve got two more days of this cleanse left and there’s still cake at my Mum’s so if I don’t get some words of encouragement I’m likely to jump on a bus and go get it right now!

The fate of my uncontrollable gut is in your hands…

Speak soon x



Work, work, work…

Hey friend,

You’re not gonna believe this but the girls are on holiday – again! I know – doesn’t it seem like half term was just a couple of weeks ago? I do love having them home though and being able to be home without having to compete with the other mums at work for time off. I remember Stress Tech would go into the holiday calendar at the start of the year and book off every half term, and every Easter holidays – without ever asking if I wanted some time off with my children too. I mean, as far as I’m concerned, we should help each other out but clearly I was on my own there…

I’ve been thinking a lot about work lately – I guess because it’s getting closer to when I have to get back out there (silently cringing..). It’s funny as the girls think working in the fashion industry is oh so glamorous – if only they knew the truth! Maybe it’s glamorous for a top designer but for a garment tech? Not so much.

When I think about what I’m going back to… Stress Tech was one of many odd characters at work but she’s definitely up there in the top 5. She was one of those mums who’d go on and on about her kids – which is fine but not everyone’s that interested (And yes, I get the irony as I write about my brood but at least you have the option to read or not 🙂 ). I really wasn’t interested but I smiled and nodded… But I guess she’s not as odd as the Head of Buying who’d talk and talk to you about her child but the minute you tried to have an actual conversation and talk about your own child she would physically turn away – honestly – it was like she was saying “You’re boring me – I’m done with you now.”

Then there was Career Break who nearly had a meltdown because we were having a desk move but she couldn’t take her shelf – yes, I’m serious. What is it with people and their work desks, anyway? Do they not get that it’s not actually their desk? She made such a big deal about having to sit somewhere else when she first came back to work – as if we should have left it untouched as a shrine until her return (insert eye-roll here)…

To think I’m giving up 24hr days of being drooled on, sicked on, hair pulled, glasses pulled off, cheeks squeezed (mine, not Bubs and generally whilst laughing – again, him, not me) to go back to 8hr days of fit models, moaning about systems/factories/lack of resources (just fill in the blanks as the list of moans is endless).

And, as if on cue, his highness has woken from his nap and is now summoning me with his wailing – I know who I’d rather spend my day with and it’s not Stress Tech  🙂

Speak soon x


Sugar? Yes, please!


How are you?

You’re not going to believe this – well, actually, you are – my love affair with sugar is back – help me before I gorge myself on more biscuits!

How many times have we said we’re cutting out sugar for good, only to be sucked back in? I thought it would be easier to eat better, healthier whilst being at home – no vending machine calling to me at 3pm. No never ending birthday celebrations with cakes that I just can’t say ‘no’ to. No cafeteria just downstairs selling muffins, cookies, brownies… Excuse me whilst I wipe the drool from my chin… what was I saying? Oh yeah – so it should be easier to resist temptation whilst I’m off work  – just don’t buy the junk, right? Ha! If only it were that simple. Sometimes, I just can’t help myself and sometimes Mr E is to blame. He says he’s going to join me eating healthily and I think great – we’re in this together. Then he comes home with a tub of ice cream, a packet of custard creams and a flake (only the flake is meant for me, by the way) and I’m done. “What happened to eating better?” I say. “I’ll start tomorrow” he says but tomorrow doesn’t seem to have arrived yet…

I think back to this time last year when I was pregnant and couldn’t even sniff chocolate or a cake without feeling ill, let alone actually eat them. I was eating fruit like my survival depended on it but the weird thing was I didn’t miss the sugary stuff. It was a whole new me! And drinking water – loads of it – I couldn’t drink anything else! I remember O.M said with real panic on her face one day “What if the baby doesn’t like cake?” That’s how serious the situation was – even my own children were looking at me and asking “Who are you and what have you done with my Mother?”

We needn’t have worried – sugar is back in my life and it’s as though we’ve never been apart. Cakes, chocolate, ice cream, hot chocolate – I don’t discriminate – all sugary treats are welcome – well, maybe not all. I take an exception to mint/choc or orange/choc combo’s as they’re just wrong.

I clicked on a link the other day titled ‘how to lose belly fat quickly’ – the first tip was ‘eat less’. Needless to say, I stopped reading.

Take care.

P.S: Two biscuits were devoured in the writing of this post… I am beyond help.